^^

chillax, just read

“don’t blame me if i know what i want and what i don’t”

I’ve got a tagging award thingy from joycee yikee… thanks dude!

And now I’m doing the same hehe. I wanna give this award to jon, jonas and bebe. Cheers!

a come back

well… 2:04 a.m here. Sunday, yeah… later’s gonna be Pacman and Cotto’s fight. I’m kinda excited about it for the hope that he’s gonna win at an even round. Yeah… I bet. lol.

Anyway, here I go again… can’t sleep in the middle of the night. Errrr…. I dunno, I’ve spent, like, this whole dumb day watchin movies. that was great though but i dunno, hmmm it just came to my mind… yeah about these hesitations. Well if you’re with me you’ve gotta figure out already. If not, then let it be… I guess you should stop reading this selfish post XD

Hmm… first it was because of a guy, then came my AP -attitude problem- LOL. I was not really into guy, but mind you guys… I was about to dig that opportunity huh. Well, maybe my decision is not in favor of whoever son of yerr lord, and it’s really for my own. However, there’s like 3%.. no make that 4, okay 5% regret on my part. o.0 All of a sudden, it’s gone. I should have listened to eminem… “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?—-You own it, you better never let it go… You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow… This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo”

what else? hmmm… i dunno, my career? my personal life? or it’s the significant other. It’s difficult, but i think those thoughts from the past are all coming back. Yeah… they all are. and i hate it coz i thought i’ve had them buried 6 feet under (lol crap). Argghhhhh they’re hunting me. I know I have to do this with him, for us. But I don’t know if I could. I wanna keep going by myself. I hate to say this… but I mean it.

Freecyclers! ^^ who wants a sofa?

Hi guys! Sorry medyo di maganda yung shots… kinuha ko lang to from an album sa facebook ko hehe. Naisipan ko lang na ishare kasi itatapon na xa ng ate ko. ^^ kahit sino pwede basta willing to pick it up from antipolo rizal… anytime any day

ok to dun sa mga gustong magrepair nalang instead of buying a new one.

Indie

Hmmm… Wow. Sinisipag ako?lol. Not really, it’s just that wala na namang nakakaintindi sa akin bukod sa sarili ko. Nagiiba na naman ako ng lenggwahe. So intead of talking bunk with other people, I just wanna express *some* my views or what’s in my head.

What is Independence? Being free….

Independence here is all about being free from the things that suppresses a person. Like being free from your parents. Hindi mo na kailangan pang magpaalam kapag may gusto kang puntahan. Hindi mo na kailangan umuwi ng maaga kapag may pinuntahan ka.

That is one big thing guys! Di ba? well, all my life hinigpitan ako ng parents ko about these things… yung time, yung pagbabarkada, basta. Disciplinarian talaga ang tatay ko. But i understand him naman kasi I’m the youngest, im the bunso and i’m a girl. Anyway, ok lang.

So how did I get my freedom? As in total freedom?

Simple lang, I worked. When I turned 18, I started to work. I looked for a job hoping that my parents will allow me with certain things like going home late, pag gala gala, and sleeping over my friends’ house. It worked naman. Kasi they know i am responsible enough, i know i can handle myself, i can do the budgeting, and i pay for everything. I don’t use their money anymore. That’s it lang. But yeah they still worry about me.

I remember before when I slept over my boss’ house because I need to finish a paper, my paps got mad and like he doubted kung san talaga ako nagpupunta. I got mad too! (o db ang taray hoho)… wala lang, kasi I’m working tapos ganun pa iisipin nila saken. I’m working so hard, they can’t give me the things that I want so I wanna get it by myself. I am too ambitious to depend on them. Ayokong maghintay nalang katulad ni Juan Tamad sa ilalin ng puno. Gusto kong pitasin ang bunga kapag hinog na, ayoko ng hintaying malaglag pa yun sa bibig ko. Kung hindi nila kaya, kaya ko! not for myself, but for us…

It’s really hard to be independent. Madaming naiinggit sakin kapag nagkukwento ako about me being indie from my parents. I still live with my parents though, but it feels like I’m not. Parang boarder lang nila ako sa room ko. I pay for my bills, I share with the electric bill (sometimes), I buy my food, I pay for my tuition, I take care of my allowance and other expenses. everything….. ang hirap lalo kapag gumigising ka na walang food na nakahanda. In times like that, I really feel i don’t belong to the family. Ewan ko. Bakit nga naman ako lulutuan ng food eh tanghali na ako gumising tapos hindi pa ako kumikilos sa bahay. Eh…. hindi naman nila ko pinagaaral eh^^ at saka nahihirapan ako sa paghahanap ng pang tustos sa sarili ko. Hmmmm siguro naman may point ako dun noh? agree ka nalang! XD

Nakakaurot! lalo na kapag nagkakasabay sabay yung mga reasons kung bakit ako nasstress. Anu ano ang mga iyon?

*Work- sa field ng trabaho ko (freelance writing)… baliktad ang mundo ko sa mga clients, hindi pa peak season. tang ina. May palang nakatengga na ako! tang ina September na! tang ina. Hindi na ko mabubuhay sa raket kong to next month ^^. chillax lang

*Family- nakakapressure kasi kapag wala kang pera feeling mo wala kang silbi sa bahay, sa lipunan at sa lipunan! (shitttt. money sucks! really)

*School- lalo na kapag may mga kailangang ipasa tapos nagmagaling kang iassist yung project? tapos ang konti ng response rate from your members. Ang feeling mo nun para kang nagtake ng midterm at finals ng sabay. (leche!)

tapos iniisip ko din next month, hmmm may ojt na, and a couple of subjects that i need to complete. crap… super loaded ako. I’m planning to apply for a work pa naman. Kulang ang 24 hours para saken. Pano ko kaya hahatiin ang ojt time, work time, and pasok ko sa school? goodluck to me ^^

*Love life- I love him. Yes. Nananalig akong naiintindihan nya ako. kaya lang minsan gusto ko ng gumive up. Nasasaktan ko sya, nasasaktan nya na din ako. Pero nagmamahalan kami ng buong giliw. Para naman akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa kapag wala sya, pero pag nandyan tapos sumabay sa mga stress ko sa buhay… hmmmmm, naaawa lang ako sa sarili ko.

Feeling ko isa ko sa wonder girls. Sorry kung papupurihan ko ang sarili ko ha! Pero sa totoo lang, I’m so great.

Ang buhay Indie….

-malaya
-masaya
-magastos
-masakit sa bulsa
-masaya
-matured
-responsible
-fulfilling

Pero……
-malungkot
-emo
-mag-isa(I have God pala!^^)
-sarili lang nakakaintindi
-nakakapagod
-nakakastress

kaya goodluck nalang sa inyo sana habang maaga pa, matuto na kayong humiwalay sa mga magulang ninyo… nakakahiya kasi. Sobra. ^^ tapos ka na! lalo kapag hindi ka marunong makisabay sa agos ng buhay. matuto ka lang….

*work-matuto kang magsave para bukas. wag kang gimik ng gimik, gastos ng gastos, bili ng bili. gumastos ka lang kapag may kukunin ka na para bukas. gumastos ka lang para sa pagkain, at para sa ikaliligaya ng buong giliw mung puso^^

*Family- sila lang ang kakampi mo kapag iniwanan ka ng lahat. nakakapressure man, mahal ka pa din nila kahit anong gawin mo. kahit you hate them, they love you pa rin :p no choice ka pare!

*School- matuto kang tumawa kasama ng mga kaibigan mung tunay at tanggapin ang katotohanang kasama mo pa rin sila sa hirap at ginhawa para lang makalabas sa isang gubat. walang survivor… lahat kayo survivor.

*Love life-matuto kang magparaya. wag kang selfish. hindi ka na single, double ka na XD. take it easy… magtulungan kayo, mangarap kayo ng sabay. gawin nyo para sa isa’t isa, at para sa ikasisiya ng mga tao sa paligid nyo. Open the lines of communication, always. If you love, do not expect him/her to do the same. Mahal mo sya, kailangan pa bang mahal ka nya para lang ipagsigawan mo sa mundong mahal mo sya? magpakatotoo ka.

kung wala ka pang jowa, wag ka na munang magjowa kapag hindi ka pa ready!

P.S. Act like your age and be responsible… Make your parents proud, make yourself proud too. hohoho. xiao carabao!

click the ads here please^^

I can’t sleep

I can’t sleep na naman… holy crap!

I was so down last two days because of the fuckin feasib. and…. life? Sorry. I don’t mean anything except stress, and the things that stress me out.  Well, I remember my blog lang, kawawa naman… nakakainis lang kasi wordpress is kinda complicated, i can’t link my adsense. Hayst…

Di talaga maitatago sakin na stressed ako. Hmmm, I’ve got pimples na naman. tapos hindi maganda ung skin ko. (artiiii!?) tapos i can’t think straight (wtf) tapos wala maxadong ideas na lumalabas sakin… para kong walang gana. Ewan ko haha. Ayokong magEMO kokokok.

I woke up late kanina, or should I say kahapon. ay maaga pala akong gumising, mga 7 ata, kasi nasa house pa si jepjep, di pa xa pumapasok sa school eh. Pero di ako bumangon, natulog ako ulit. Wala lang…. sleepyhead. wtf.

Diko alam kung pano ko to gagawan ng conclusion so ganito nalang bigla nalang mawawala. nyahahahaha (parokya!?)

school papers

i hate it!!! kasi i can’t set up my adsense stuff with wordpress.
nakakainis kasi di ako kumikita sa blog site na ito… but yeah thank God coz i’ve found another site hohoho….

should you have any queries about your school papers, just visit docstoc.com… actually you can, may download papers with various topics from that site. so helpful guys and it’s free.. you just have to sign up. hmmm… i’ve uploaded our feasibility study on my account, and i will be uploading some of my finished papers soon!

just visit my page, check on my papers and click on the google ads for further references. it’s legal, walang virus unlike porn sites hohohoho…. at saka you can trust me!
my docstoc page
my docstoc page
my docstoc page
if you need help on your papers, feel free to approach me po…
i am more than willing to help you
basta click on google ads hehehe para you help me too.

yey nakaroam na yung globe sim ;)

yey nakaroam na yung globe sim

hi guys, i’m posting this for the benefit of those who are interested… hohoho.

actually, i was not sure about this stuff before. sabi lang talaga sakin ni oyen, buy yeah it works. kahit pala nasa ibang country na ung sim eh pede pa rin syang mairoam ng globe. just tell them na you want the sim to be roamed. i did not visit their wireless center though, i just emailed them. and i’m so glad kasi they really respond to my queries. although it is much quicker if you’ll walk in to their centers, kaya lang nakakatamad

anyway, for those na may queries about them just visit their site
globe site
or email them at
customer feedback

Globe Roaming

Hmmm…. hindi na naman ako nakapagupdate ng blog ko hoho busy sa kakafarmtown at kakabili ng mga friends sa friends for sale. nyahaha….

Nasira tuloy ang countdown ko! Well anyway, this post is all about the roaming service of Globe. Sorry for smart subscribers dyan hehe. Solid Globe kasi ako although may smart sim rin ako sa isang phone ko kaya lang di ko naman ginagamit. Active lang sya. Nyak!

Nung umalis ang buong giliw kong habibi, nakakapuot kasi nakalimutan namin mag-activate ng roaming sim the day before, or 24 hours before his flight. But we tried activating it like 3 hours before kaya lang hindi na sya maprocess. Sayang kasi we changed our numbers pa naman, we bought new sims na magkasunod ang number para madaling tandaan for us and syempre para sweet (yikeeeee). Well… so yun, 1 month na gumagastos si bhie sa pagtawag and text nya. Imagine, ang call is 5AED per minute… So 1 AED (dirham) is equal to 13 php. So kapag nakaka 5 minutes kaming usapan, mga 300+ un? tama ba? just do the math guys hoho. katamad. ang mahal, and syempre ang texts ko sakanya 15php. I can’t call pa. I don’t know why. Nyahahaha Goodluck saken.

Anyway, so naghanap ako ng mga ways para lang maparoam ko yung sim nya. Luckily, sabi ni Oyen (friend ko) pwede daw iparoam ang sim kahit na nasa Dubai ka na. yeah it’s kinda impossible kasi wala ng signal yung sim niya sa Dubai. So what I did is, I emailed Globe and ask them personally. I Clarified everything kasi naguguluhan ako.

So nagtanong ako… sinagot nila ako ng ganito

A- Globe user in the Philippines

B- Globe Roamer in Dubai

A-     will be charged as usual while here in the Philiipines

B-     Roaming Rates shall apply accordingly, as you have discussed below

Zone : 3

Outgoing Voice Rate (PHP/min) : N/A

Incoming Voice Rate (PHP/min) : 100

Outgoing SMS Rate : 25

Destination :

United Arab Emirates (UAE)	Belarus	Bermuda	Botswana	Canada
Dominican Rep	Faroe Islands	Georgia	Jersey	Kazakhstan
Kenya	Liechtenstein	Macedonia	Moldova	Seychelles
Uzbekistan	Zimbabwe

Also guys, to clarify,  According to Cherry Panganiban (Globe service fulfillment) ….if you do not have an active network signal and somebody calls you from  the Philippines , the call shall be automatically diverted to the number you have nominated.  However, in the absence of a signal, you will not be able to register to Globe’s Roaming service and therefore, no notification shall be received as well. If you want to subscribe to Globe’s Roaming service, you may email Globe anytime so as they may activate it.  Please ensure that you have at least PHP 100 in your prepaid number.

With regard Globe promotions, please note that all your callers from the Philippines shall be charged in accordance to their local postpaid plan and prepaid rates and therefore, they may register to all available unlitxt and unlicalls promos.  Only, roaming rates shall apply to B accordingly.

Yun lang, just to share.

jenny don’t be hasty

i really love this song… me love it

jenny don’t be hasty by paolo nutini

^^

july 28

what the fuckin shit! hehe.

yeah so i went out today…alone. it’s been a week after he left. good thing i’m not broken anymore . i went to school coz i thought there’s still a class on my feasibility study subject. i hate it coz i was stuck on the heavy flow of traffic around GMA EDSA!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrr…. me hate it so much. my class starts at 6 in the evening and ends at 7:30. wow guess what!? i arrived like 7ish! yeah holy crap hahahaha coz actually there’s no more classes with that subject, we just have to complete our paper and pass it to our prof before the semester ends and be ready for the defense. crap… and my friends were about to go home already lol. good thing is that they waited for me. and seeing them is the best part

i really miss my friends, the whole bonding and all that stuff. idk. we used to be 3 but now i’ve got 7 other colleagues… 7 partners in crime hihi.

anyway… i was surprised this morning that i have received a text from my bebe. well.. i did not expect it but yeah i’m happy. oh well he just informed me that he’s gonna be out the whole day. i was not able to reply though coz i have no load and …. i just don’t feel like. idk, i;m just gonna miss him so that;s better, it’s enough that i know what he’s doing and what makes or made his day…. time to hit the sheets now. got an early meeting (like 1 in the afternoon hahahahah too early for me ha!) with my feasib group mates. well.. i’m just gonna give them instructions and probably hang out with them coz there’s no classes for this week. oh, i forgot… it’s marketing week. hahahaha that’s why. echos! i thought everybody’s on a vacation just like what i, oyen and ace did last week. cheers

july 27-SONA

kanina ung last SONA daw ni madam president.

actually di ako natulog, or i mean di ako nakatulog so i’m kinda groggy right now. wtf. nagpunta kame ni kuya sa Antipolo. hahaha aylavet kasi naeenjoy ko talaga ang magmotor nang napakalakas ng ulan. idk. ang saya. i love rain. although yung last kong pagligo sa ulan is kinda traumatic kasi i really lost my voice and i got terribly sick. well. ok lang at least i enjoyed hohoho.

pauwi na kami and we took marikina route. wow. nakasabay pa namin ung convoy ni madam president. i love the plat number 1. ayeah. kung magkakaron ako ng car gusto ko nakalagay sa plate number is BIBA. hohohoho. wala lang para cute. anyway… pahabol lang to bago ako matulog. i just finished watching the grandma’s boy, it’s fun. hehe mga adik. i wanna sleep now kaya lang ung nagpahintay eh hindi pa dumadating nakakainis.

anyway….. kahit ayaw ng mga tao si madam president, ewan ko i like her. hehe. lagi nalang aksing flaws ang tinitignan, why not appreciate all the good things that she does. she still got one year to lead this country, and i think the past years have been great although crisis and other problems arise. many people protests but, who the hell do they think deserves the position? wala naman. magluluklok sila ng leasder but eventually pag may mali silang hindi nagustuhan patatalsikin at patatalsikin lang nila. listening to the president’s SONA is awesome. i’m not a fan though but i’m not anti her leadership. i’m just one of the FIlipino’s who knows how to appreciate what she has done with her best efforts coz nobody is perfect.

july 26-do boys fall in love?

time check… 5:08 ng hapon.

ang ingay sa kapitbahay, birthday ni shanon (heypi birthday!!!!), ung inaanak ni kuya. wala lang. natuwa ako sa note ni melvin/vhynnz. kapag ang lalake daw ay umibig. well… it’s all about the guys who change after silang sagutin ng girls na nililigawan nila. ewan ko but yeah i agree with what he wrote (aylavet!)

ang guys kasi kapag nanliligaw: they do everything just to please the girl,to win the girl’s heart. gagawin ang lahat ng bagay na hindi naman kaya para sa girl (parang nagpapasikat), they show the girl na they are into her talaga. everyday tawag, text, etc. tama si vhynnz (apir), gagastos at todo effort talaga. i admit kaya ako nahirapan magkaboyfriend dahil masyado akong perfectionist (di na ngayon) and madali akong madisappoint(ganyan pa din ako ngaun) sa guy. un… however, kapag napasagot na ng guys ang mga girls minsan nababawasan na ung effort, nagiging less na ung attention na binibigay nila sa girls at mas nagiging demanding na sila. at masakit man sabihin…. minsan nababawasan and the worst, nawawala na yung respeto nila sa girls. kaya maraming naghihiwalay (aha!), dahil nawawala na ung dating turingan. kung sa una nagmamahalan pa ng bonggang bongga… parang bigla nalang nagfefade. ang saklap lang isipin.

as a girl di ko naman gustong kampihan ang mga babae pero parang ganun na nga! echosss…. well, sana lang isipin ng mga guys na sila ang maswerte kapag naging girlfriend na nila ung girl. di dapat magbago kung ano man ung pinakita nila nung una, parang naririnig ko sa ibang guys before “love me now and i’ll court you forever”. ang sweet noh? pero love nga ba talaga ung feeling na un? naiinlove ba talaga ang mga boys? parang hindi naman. wala ako sa posisyon para ijudge kung anong nafifeel ng boys pero pra sa mga girls, every detail counts.

marami sa mga couples ang nauuwi sa break ups dahil sa pagbabago ng partner, sino nga ba? ang girls o ang boys?  nagiging nagger ang girls dahil sa mga boys, ang dating tahimik and walang kibo nagiging nagger. nagloloko naman ang boys dahil sa pagkukulang ng girls.  isa lang yan sa mga napapansin kong sangkatutak na flaws. but at the end of the day ang laging tanong ay, so who’s to blame?… anyway, sana lang di ako matulad sa mga pinagsasabi ko.  hohoho. bago lang ang relationship ko so tignan naten kung magbabago ba ang bebe ko :p well.. i hope na hindi, pero kung magbago man sya, i promise na i won’t change. bahala na sya, kung iwan man nya ko, ang malas nya! kokokok… xiao <3

july 25

i forgot to post the songs* or video or whatever u wanna call it. chosss

i’m feeling mataray today haha la lang, care mo ba?ang sarap ng halohalo bili ni mama sa baba. me love et! ayeah. ito nalang post ko si paolo nutini, mapogi hohohoho. Last request, i’ve learned this song na sa guitar. gusto ko din maglagay ng mga vids ko kaya lang i’m shy hahaha plus mapangit ung mic ko.

well. ano nga ba?i’m happy naman, although i was kinda disappointed last night. basta. secret kung baket hahahaha i just don’t wanna hurt that person’s feelings. pero natulog akong happy kagabi kahit sandali ko lang nakausap ang bebe ko. he’s kinda busy kasi madaming tao sa bahay nila and that lame connection really ruins our moment lang pag naguusap kame. ok lang. sanay na ko.

nakausap ko ang isang girl sa facebook kagabi, si jev. sorry to mention your name dear. hehe. actuallypinagseselosan nya daw ako dati, idk why but wala naman akong ginagawang masama and i’m not flirting with his guy. well anyway…un, isa na namang love problem case. feeling ko talaga pinanganak ako para makinig at magpayo sa mga love problems, pano naman ako? bakit ako di ko mapayuhan ang sarili ko? pero infairness ah, kahit may sarili akong problems, nakakagaan ng loob pag nakakatulong ka sa iba. me love et.

pasahan na daw ng feasib sa tuesday, ayun. tapos sept16 na ang defense. ok lang. kaya yan

p.s. kapag gumawa ka ng promise make sure na tutuparin mo.

july 24

late na ko natulog, mga past 3 na ata. wow. kausap ko lang ang bebe ko and busy sa pagrerenovate ng farm town. i’ll post a pic when i’m done. *wink

yea i feel better na talaga. unlike nung first days. pag gising ko palang eh my heart is crushed na pag walang text or call from him. narealize ko lang kailangan kong masanay. this is just the 4th day… madami pang susunod. i really love myself. i’m thankful that God created me this way, i’ve got a strong personality.  i easily forget…oh not forget, accept.

i’m just so happy that i was able to talk with my bhie when i opened my pc. he just woke up i guess at that time, 9ish on his time and 1ish on mine. i haven’t eaten breakfast nor lunch so i was kinda starving when we talked but it’s okay. he just told me that they’re going out and this and that.

di ako pumasok. wala lang, bakasyon nga namen nila oyen and ace hehehe. ijust don’t feel like going out. but i guess tomorrow or next week ready na ko ulit umalis magisa. i opened my pc like 5ish. ngayon. play guitar, learn from youtube, etc. hinanap ko kung pano tugtugin ung last request ni paolo nutini and i already miss you ng the kooks. (im gonna post the videos later) i really love the songs.then after kinamusta ko naman yung feasibility study namen. madami pala. i’ve just finished the first chapter and there’s like 7 or 8 chapters. well, it’s a group work so i don’t have to finish it all. wewe.

i’m wondrin kung anong nangyari sa school, i miss my classmates, jamie,jp, dao, kim. etc…. lahat ng kabiruan ko. sabi SONA daw sa monday and may pasok daw. i’m so malas coz i live near the place where it is held so probably it’s a long walk. vehicles will not be allowed to enter the area though. urghhh.. i just wish that my brother is here para maihatid nya ko.

anyway, wala ko masyado magawa today (lagi naman). i feel bored! sa wakas nafeel ko ang boredom hindi ang sadness ayeah me love it! so balak kong gawin ang feasibility study project namen sa abot ng aking makakaya. wait for my crops in farmtown to be ready, take dinner, fix my room, and i guess wait for my bebe to go online. he told me naman na uuwi sya ng maaga. but if not okay lang, he’s old enough malaki na sya kaya nya ang sarili nya hohoho. mwakiss

july 23

i don’t wanna live in denial.

3rd ng LDR (long distance relationship) ko with my bebe. i’m better yeah pero ayokong ideny na i’m still hurt. ewan ko. i’m still sad. sad is the right term… hurt? ala naman syang kasalanan or what not. i really miss him. it’s so hard coz we don’t talk regularly like we haven’t set a specific time on when to chat, text or call  plus he can’t use his roaming sim

anyway, the presence of my family eases the pain. echos. i’m so emo na hohoho. pero di nga, buti nalang kahit makulit si jepjep eh nakakatuwa naman sya. wala ko masyadong ginawa today, di ako pumasok sa school. yung isa kong prof is absent ung isa naman eh nagpaalam lang DAW kasi magbabakasyon sa NY, bongga so iba na ang prof namen. ingat sya.

well… nakakalungkot lang talaga pag di ko nakakausap ang bebe ko. ahahay… gusto ko pag gising ko may nababasa akong text saknya or may missed call, kaya lang wala. saklap. minsan iniisip ko din na nakadungaw na sya sa pinto katulad ng ginagawa nya pag nagpupunta dito. sobrang namimiss ko na talaga. wag ko daw masyadong isipin pero ganun talaga eh. kailangan kong namnamin every detail ng sadness ko para pagsawaan ko kahit na it really hurts. kailangan ko kayanin… ayokong bumitaw kasi love ko siya.

anyway, i guess ok na to. may 4th day pa and so on. xiao.

july 22- better

I woke up late, parang ayoko ngang bumangon eh. I checked my phone, still no text or call from bhie. Nakakalungkot lang kasi dati nasanay akong sya ang una kong nakakausap pag gising ko. wala kong gana kumain. nagcomputer nalang ako checked my mails and facebook. farm town xempre. dang… i’ve got an email from my bhie. aylavet. im so happy na meron, and i hate it coz i cried while reading the letter. na naman….

ewan ko. parang masyado na kong nasasaktan and parang dahil dun nagsisimula na kong maging manhid ulit. parang di ko na masyado masense kung anong ngyayari. hindi naman ako namatayan but it seems like my heart is crushed. i hate it.

it’s so hot. pero i cleaned my room pa rin. tinanggal ko lahat ng curtains and tinapon lahat ng kalat. di ako nagpalit ng bedsheet kakapalit ko palang kasi nun. i saw my bhie’s perfume on the corner, i sprayed it on my pillow, blanket and graziella. i wanna smell him lang. lage. my brother saw the bench cap that my bhie gave me before he left. my bro asked me if he can borrow… i don’t want to pero pumayag na rin ako. di ko naman kasi masusuot kinda big for me. tinatamad na naman ako pumasok bukas. wala naman daw kasi ung prof kong magrereport ako. so parang ayoko nalang pumasok sayang ang pagod. gagawin ko nalang ang feasib namen.

i think nafifeel din ni mama ang absence ng bebe ko para saken. she knows na hindi ako kumaen so binili nya ko ng food. i love her so much although minsan i hate her. hindi pumasok si papa and kuya sa work i don’t know kung anong meron, maghapon na silang nanonood ng movies. dvd marathon. im happy for my bro seeing him smiling and laughing. family bonding, i really love my family. kasi everytime na may mga downfall, anjan sila for me, for us. kahit hindi pagusapan, nadadaanan naman sa tawanan at pangaasar kay jepjep. masaya naman, pero sad pa rin talaga ako. konting reminisce lang eh tumutulo na ang tears ko.

gusto ko muna sanang wag magparamdam sa bhie ko, just to move on but i’m afraid to move on completely, and i’m afraid na magmove on din sya. but yeah, as i was talking to malou last night, ayoko namang magmukmok sa isang sulok kakaisip sa bhie ko. malulusaw ang beauty ko. pero it’s ok, bhie is everything. i’ve found the missing part of me but he’s gone. unfortunately. i can’t wait to talk to him na. hearing his voice completes my day. seeing his messages completes me. and hearing him say he loves me brings back the joy in my life.

i really miss him. this is just the 2nd day…. i still have to wait for like 300+ days. matagal… but i won’t regret waiting him for that long, he’s worth it.

july 21-ang sakit sa ulo

kakarating ko lang from the market, sumama ako kay mama and inayos ko na din ang about sa cebuana. I woke up like 11 in the morning, no text, no call from my bebe. sad…………. super sad. i just wanna cry but hearing the voice of my brother and my mom reminds me of how lucky i am to have them in spite of my bebe’s absence.

i got a text message from my sister reminding me of sending her the money so i did. we went out, i send the money and went to the cellphone repair shop to have my other phone fixed. ayokong pumasok today, i just don’t feel like doing it. ang sakit ng ulo ko eh, and napagusapan na din namin ni oyen na hindi kami papasok. nice. i bought a new nail polish, color red. idk. gusto ko lang ng red although loveless parang blood nalang. i’m bleeding. lol.

idk kung hanggang kelan ko to gagawin, nagsusulat nalang ako para makarelieve ng kung anong nararamdaman. i texted kat and asked her to go out. but she’s kinda busy with the review. disappointing… i wanna go out and have some fun para naman makalimutan ko what i feel. me so sad.

i opened my pc like mga hapon na. i checked my yahoo messenger, no offline messages from bebe, i checked my mail and no email from him…. i checked my facebook and there you go, i got a wall post from him. saying that he arrived like 9ish. i got disappointed. he did not call me. i told him to call me right away he landed on his destination. i’m so sad. i was waiting for a text or a call from him kagabi pa. it’s like, i don’t wanna sleep para pag tumawag sya di ko talaga mamimiss.

i think this is the beginning… unti unti ko ng nararamdaman ang distance. i really wanna cry so hard. but i can’t, ayokong ipakita sa sarili ko na im so weak. im afraid to be numb. nakakatampo. ngayon mas nakakarelate na ako sa kuya ko. when ate maricel arrived in australia, she did not call or text. and naramdaman ko talaga kung panong sadness ang nagappear sa face ni kuya. ngayon, i feel what he exactly felt. ewan ko…. ayokong magalit saknya coz im afraid na sabayan nya ko. and hirap kasi napakalayo nya. ewan ko. ewan ko…. di ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko pag tumawag sya, di ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako dahil he called me nga, and hearing is voice makes me complete na rin kahit wala sya. pero nagtatampo talaga ko kase di sya tumupad sa usapan namen. i told him to call me right away anytime.

ewan ko. but i still love him. mahal na mahal.

—————————————————————-

finally i got a call from him, wala daw load ang mom nya nun so he was not able to call me. he used his dad’s phone lang kanina. ung saknya kasi is nakalimutan namen iroaming. haaaaayyyyy. still, sakit ng ulo ko. i think i need a short nap. nytie.

july 20-untitled

july 20- untitled

dear blog,

I just got home from the airport. Hinatid ko ang bebe ko…
I’m so down. watery eyes….
Ayokong malungkot pero hindi ko talaga maiwasan.
Paguwi ko magisa lalo kong naramdaman ang emptiness at ang kawalan nya.
Bigla nalang feeling ko nabawasan ako.
Sa short time na magkasama kame, natutunan kong iattach ang sarili ko sakanya.
Parang ayoko ng sumakay pa ng bus pag hindi ko sya kasama.
Ayoko ng kumain sa mga restaurant nang hindi ko sya kasama.
Kapag umuulan, hindi ko na sya makakasama sumilong.
Magisa nalang akong maglalakad sa gabi.
Hindi ko na sya makakausap ng personal.
Hindi ko na sya malalambing ng personal.
Hindi ko na sya mayayakap.
Mahahalikan.
Makukurot.
Maaayos ang buhok.
Maasar.
Mapipikon.
Gagalitin tapos magkakabati kapag niyakap.
at hindi ko na masasabi sakanyang mahal na mahal ko sya nang harapan.
Hindi ko na sya matitingnan sa mga eyes nya to tell him that he’s the only one.

Sobrang nakakamiss.
Wala na akong sinasabihan ng “i love you” bago pumasok ng pintuan.
Wala na akong hihintayin ng late sa gabi bago matulog.
Wala na akong makakasama kapag feeling ko magisa lang ako sa mundo.

Biglang naging malabo ang half ng buhay ko.
Parang nagkaron ulit ng chaos sa mga mata ko.
Nung nakilala ko sya,
parang nabawasan ang tao sa paligid ko.
Parang kaming dalawa lang.
Pero kanina nung umuwi ako, bigla nalang parang ang daming tao.
Ang gulo…
nakakahilo.
ang sakit sa ulo.
sa dami ng taong nakakasalubong ko hindi ko man lang makita maski anino ng bebe ko.

maulan.
Nakikisama ang langit sa kung anu mang meron sa dibdib ko.
Parang ang dilim ng langit.
Parang ang dilim ng nakabalot sa puso ko.
naambon… watery eyes naman ako.
Nakakahiya sa conductor ng bus sa tuwing nakikita nyang malapit ng pumatak ang luha ko.

sa taxi.
i can’t cry hard enough coz i was afraid to let my feelings rule that moment.
I should not be like that.
I just can’t control what i feel so i burst into tears.
Thanks sa chest ng bebe ko dahil nasalo nya ang luha ko.
Narealize ko lang, it’s not really the thought na he’s leaving for good.
It’s the good memories that lingers…
na nakakamiss.
Sobra.
Sobra..
Sobra…

nagpalit lang ako ng pants para makagalaw ng comfy then nagtype na ko.
wala naman akong masabihan kundi ang bespren ko lang na pagsusulat.
ang hirap.
nalulungkot talaga ako ng sobra.
Hindi pa man din nakakarating ng pupuntahan eh sobrang miss na miss ko na ang bebe ko.
natatakot akong sa umpisa lang ang pagkamiss namen sa isa’t isa.
natatakot akong magfade ang kung anong feelings namen sa isa’t isa.
mahal na mahal ko sya.
sya nga ang unag guy na jinowa ko.
ngayon alam ko na kung ano talaga ang meaning ng salitang love.
———————————————————————————————————————-
nagbukas ako ng facebook. ngayon ko lang nabasa ang status message ng bebe ko. haaayyy.
naisip ko ang school. shit. may quiz kame sa events marketing at reporter pa ako. pero hindi ko pedeng hindi makita ang bebe ko ngayong araw na to. madudurog ang parte ng puso ko. gusto ko lang syang makiss and hug. march 20 when we first saw each other, july 20 is the last time na nakita ko sya. kelan kaya ulit? kakahiwalay lang name 4 hours ago pero it’s like forever. miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss na miss ko na sya.
nainis pa ko sa taxi driver kanina ang gulang. ang mahal ng singil wtf! eto kasing bebe ko eh masyadong mabait lagi nalang pumapayag sa kung anong sabihin. haaayyyy. kaya love na love ko, ang bait bait.

infairness ang sakit na ng ulo ko kakaisip at kakaluha. nasstress ako at nadedepress. may klase bukas, pero tinatamad ako pumasok. ang dami kong dapat gawin pero hindi ko masimulan. parang wala kong gana. i know hindi to magugustuhan ng bebe ko pag nalaman nya kaya secret lang naten ha pls lang

pero sooner or later i think i’ll start a new life, a new year without him. kailangan kong ibalik ang dating ako. ung matapang, competitive at mataray para maipagtanggol ko ang sarili ko kahit wala ang bebe ko. kailangan ko na rin bumalik sa pagiging working student at mas dagdagan ang focus sa pagaaral. plano kong simulan ang feasibility study namen at aralin ang irereport ko sana if in case may second chance pa. anyway, hindi rin naman pumasok ang mga kagrupo ko. kailangn ko ng simulan ang paghahanap ng pagkakakitaan para mabuhay pa ko sa mga susunod na araw. kaya yan.

gusto ko nalang isipin na hindi ko sya nakilala, na parang sa facebook pa rin kame at hindi ko sya nakasama ng personal. pero ang gaga ko kasi paulit ulit kong inaalala ang mga good memories that we’ve shared. syempre ang sweet kaya. masarap talaga magmahal. simula nung nakilala ko ang bebe ko, napatunayan kong mas masarap maging committed kesa maging single. lalo na kung love na love nyo ang isa’t isa.

bukas pa dadating ng dubai ang bebe ko. miss na miss ko na sya.
sabi ko hihintayin ko sya eh.
at hihintayin ko talaga bukas at kung kailan sya makakabalik para makasama ako ulit.

ayoko pang tapusin ang pagsusulat pero ewan ko wala na kong masabi eh. baka kumain muna ako ng dinner tapos magcomputer at maghilamos at matulog na. or baka magdrama drama muna ko bago matulog, para masrap ang tulog, pagod kakaiyak.

xiao………………

tortang lucky me!

Wow napaka updated naman ng site ko hihi. At last topic ko pa ay ang kay katrina, na medyo namamatay na ang isyu infairness. Well, sorry naman dahil masyado ako nauubos ng pagcacabal ko. Idk, I am really addicted to the game hakhak^^. See. But now, I wanna share a recipe from a good friend marc. Actually I’m just gonna post our YM conversations nalang to give him credit pa hehehe. O di ba bonnga from a sex scandal I am now shifting to a food. Crap! :p

So that’s it, I’ve tried this once and it really tastes good. Sad thing I was not able to take a picture of it coz my camera’s battery is low hehe too lazy to charge it.

But this tortang lucky me is some kinda omelette version of marc. Idk, tastes like. But it’s good. Thanks to you dude.

katrina Halili and Hayden Kho’s scandal

Di ako plastik so sasabihin ko talagang napanood ko yung video na to. LOL. Wehh Ano ngayon!!!??? Madami akong friends sa YM na nagmemessage after kong ipost sa status message ang “katrina Halili and Hayden Kho’s scandal”. Tapos sasabihin sa akin, “TSK TSK ANG HILIG MO SA MGA GANYAN!”, dahil nung nakaraan ay si MARIA OZAWA ang pinapanood ko. Deadma! Ang nakakainis lang, maya maya eh sasabihin na “PENGE NAMANG LINK!”. Ang kapal ng mukha, gusto pala!!! echossss

Anyway, sobrang in ng balita about sa scandal ng dalawang to. Honestly, i like Katrina Halili even before nung nasa starstruck pa lang siya. Ang sexy nya kasi and she’s cool. Lalo na nung close sila ni Andrew Schimmer. Ewan I just like them both. Si hayden naman, yeah he’s handsome and all that stuff. Di ako mahilig manuod ng TV and parang di na nga din talaga ako nanonood. Pero pumatok saken yung balita about sa scandal. Naging curious ako siyempre noh! And of course gusto ko mapanood kung ano man ang nasa video na yun. Hee hee

As a Gabriela member, My intention of posting this talaga ay para lang ishare ang thoughts and opinions ko about the issue. Hindi para ikalat ang video or dumagdag pa sa mga umiepal sa issue. I don’t care anyway. Di ko naman sila kakilala and wala naman kaming kinalaman sa buhay ng isa’t isa. Nyahaha. I’ve got a copy of the video. I got it from a friend and it took me forever to download the whole thing! Holy crap… that 25-minute video took me like 6 hours to download the whole thing lol. Just for the sake of watching a sex scandal huh!? take note… with my ate! LOL LOL LOL. Video download is at fleshasiadaily wala dito noh! hanapin nyo nalang. Wahaha. Wholesome tong site ko lol. However, I’m not sure if you guys can really download the copy that I’ve got. It’s not the sexy dance and it’s different from what I’ve seen on youtube. I can’t send it to you guys SORRY cause it’s 109mb. Almost all my friends are asking me to send the video, what the fuck. Why me!? hahahaha… Di ko masesend to kasi babagal ang PC ko. . Tsaka I don’t wanna commit a crime lololol. I’m a girl so I understand how kat feels like. kokok.

Anyway, yeah the issue. I’m not a feminist but I agree with Senator Bong Revilla. Katrina Halili is a victim of what Hayden Kho did. Yung sexy dance tingin ko alam naman ni Katrina na kinukunan siya ng video nun but yung actual scandal, wala siyang alam. Basta just watch the video. Para naman sa mga nagsasabi na kasalanan din yung ng girl, STFU guys!!! A lot of people are doing this stuff, I guess mas madami pang matataas at sikat na babae ang gumagawa neto. Naging biktima lang ang babaeng involve sa kasalukuyang issue dahil sa pagkalat ng video nya sa net. Hayden Kho should have respected Katrina Halili’s privacy, sabi nga ni Kat kahit bilang tao nalang.

So sa mga guys dyan, wag kayong pasikat! If you really love the girl, respect her. Tsaka, ang tibay ng bituka mong kumuha ng video, baka mamaya may an-an,hadhad o buni ka pa. Ewww

P.S. I did not get the video from fleshasia though, it’s from a friend. Hohoho.  Goodluck nalang kung madadownload nyo sya from it. Pero I really won’t send it to you. echosss *wink

Yehey may sarili na akong bank! account lang hee hee… (Requirements for opening a bank account)

Ewan ko???

At first talaga gulong gulo ako kung pano ba magopen na account sa kung ano mang banko. I have had equittable bank, robinsons bank and asia trust bank before though but those are company accounts for the previous works ive got. I just decided to open up a personal account to withraw funds from my paypal.

Hmmm first choice ko talaga ang Banco De Oro kasi meron kahit weekends and mahaba ang banking hours. Next is Bank of the Phillipine Islands, ewan ko wala lang. Mababa ang maintaining balance? And last is Landbank of the Philippines kasi mababa lalo ang maintaining balance plus konti lang ang requirements na kailangan. Sa Metrobank naman kasi ang mahal, di pa naman ako rich para magopen ng account sa kanila. Echos!. Oh well, so nagpunta kame ng biba kong ate sa BDO nung tuesday. Nagbakasakali ako na makakapag open ng account after namen magpaprint ng invitation cards para sa binyag ni Derick. At eto ung invitation hee hee… Maisingit ko lang tutal isa din naman to sa mga highlights ng week ko wala lang, cute na cute lang ako sa pamangkin ko hehehe aylavet!

So mabalik tayo sa BDO. Eh nakakapuot kasi ang dala ko lang nun ay school ID. Sa tulad kong unemployed, or sige na nga self- employed, wala pa akong mga valid ID’s. Well I admit na responsable na ako sa mga ganung bagay. Dapat sana kumuha na ko ng postal ID, nagparegister as a voter sa Barangay para meron na akong voter’s ID, kumuha na SSS ID tutal member na rin naman ako, at sana ay kumuha na din ako ng passport. Kaso NAKAKATAMAD! un lang hehe. So hindi pwede. Ang sabi ng teller, ang mga pwede ko daw dalhin or ang dapat na meron ako ay ang mga sumusunod:

>School ID with registration form(tae nakay jamie ung regi ko!)

>birth certificate(waaah wla ako orig, nasa school ko)

>proof of billing(meron ako smartbro hee hee)

>landline(huhu tae ala din)
So un, napakamasalimuot kasi hindi ko alam kung san ko kukunin ung mga wala ako. Kaya ako tumingin sa landbank, nagbakasali ako na konti lang ang requirements. And yes… Kaso ayaw ko talaga dun eh mas ok kasi talaga pag may weekends yung bank, anytime pwede. At saka kailangan ko na talaga ng banko ASAP. coz i’m super deprived. Hehe.

Buti nalang naprovide ko din lahat, super aga nagpunta kami ng kuya ko sa house nila jamie, from qc to guada 30mins lang namen binyahe ni kuya though may bagyo at super traffic sa C5 nun. Tapos yung photocopy nalang ng birthcertificate ung ibibigay ko. So yun kinahapunan, nagpunta na ako ng bank though wala pa akong tulog grabe groggy. And luckily nakapagapply naman ako. Kaso I got disappointed naman. I thought magagamit ko na kaagad yung bank account ko after ko magapply, or yung atm card. Kaso one week pa pala amfufu. Yung card ko kasi kailangan may pangalan kasi wala akong landline, kaya hindi pwede yung walang name. Echos. Pero salamat nalang kasi close kami nung poging teller at nakapagapply ako kahit hindi ko napakita yung original copy ng birthcertificate ko LOL. Iba talaga ang power ng PR hee hee hee. Aylavet. Well, sa ngayon naghihintay nalang ako. Ang tagal ng card ko. Ang tagal ng mga hinihintay ko. Sana dumating na sila next week.

P.S. May 9 ngayon, at hindi ako nakapunta sa grad party ni Mean. Pero gusto kong batiin ang lahat ng friends kong nagmarcha kahapon sa world trade. Lalong lalo ung mga Acctg friends ko na sila KAT, MEAN, PAJ, MHARESS, IAN, PAT, OWA AT IBA PA. Nakuh si LUI pa pala na CUM LAUDE. Ang astig mo dude! Tsaka nga pala si bes, congrats hoho.